Matthew is coming over tomorrow morning.
We are going to try getting alexis out the way we put her in
WE
ARE
GUNNA
DO
IT
I’m also excited for cuddling and such.
(Source: kater-totss)
My Miracle
PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG MY BELLY PICTURES, OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH ALEXIS, ME AND MATTHEW.
My Face, Me and Matthew, Booggerbutt, motherhood, My Baby Bump, Personal stuff
My mom got me a kids meal from Burgerville and a smoothie for the drink. When i went in there to get it she was like ” Yeah you got a kids meal cause you eat all the time so I wasn’t sure how hungry you would be”
Valid point mother.
(Source: kater-totss)
It’s just never good enough for my mom. Matthew called it too. So we went to the store earlier, Matthew and I, to get a few last minute baby things. Well i wasn’t feeling all to good so we just went to the closest store to us. Well we got 4 things of wipes and A&D ointment because we really don’t need anything else. Well we were walking around figuring out what we wanted for dinner and i asked him ” do you think my mom will finally stop bitching about you?” And he laughed and said ” No. Nothing will ever make her stop bitching about me.”
He just left for the night and my mom commented ” doesn’t he get upset knowing that other people have bought her stuff and he hasn’t?” I fucking knew it… So i said ” he just went out and bought 4 freaking things of wipes and the A&D ointment i had been needing.” And she had the nerve to be like ” So.”
Are you kidding me?? We don’t have the money to be going on a fucking shopping spree for outfits or anything else we want, we bought what we needed, well let’s be honest we didn’t really need 4 things of wipes lol he just bought the rest that they had. He wanted to go get a few outfits but i didn’t fucking feel good and told him i didn’t want to go shopping so if anything it was my fault that he didn’t get outfits. Plus he’s only doing it because he want’s to make my mom happy and was gunna spend the rest of the money he needed to save for his stay down here and i don’t want him to have to worry about everything since we could still have 2 weeks till i have her. It fucking annoys me because he comes over, we go walking we watch tv and he buys us food so my mom is just getting mad for him being in her house. He hasn’t done anything wrong, he’s been respectful, he’s been nice he wouldn’t even get in the shower with me while my mom was out lol he said ” Your mom already hates me” He tries to make my mom happy or stay out of her way but she still has something to bitch about. I am so fucking tired of her just hating him, she cant even say that he hasn’t bought anything for her now but i guess what he got for alexis wasn’t enough for my mom.
I am starting to realize that nothing me or Matthew do will ever be good enough.
(Source: kater-totss)
Matthew and I were playing with my nipples, it’s not weird to say because i’m pregnant and we play with them randomly, well i was trying to get my left nipple to lactate and I FUCKING SPRAYED MYSELF IN THE FACE WITH MY OWN BREAST MILK LOL We laughed for probably 20 minutes, so hard that it was starting to really hurt my belly. It was the funniest thing ever. I didn’t know that happened till you had been BF or pumping for a couple days. I never fucking expected to spray myself with my own fucking breast milk Right after it happened we looked at each other and just cracked up. It was so funny though i can’t even be mad
(Source: kater-totss)
Matthew just left, he will be over tomorrow sometime and we are going to try going baby shopping for a few last minute things. Today was awesome!! We just laid in bed really and i am so ok with that. We found a new game on my kindle that we both love, Toy Defender or something, but i would lay on my side with my head on his chest and we would play it together I loved it. Then we went for a walk earlier in the cemetery, it’s quiet and beautiful and i can take my time plus a lot of people go for walks in there, and we were holding hands and talking and it was just really nice. We came back and just played the game and then he helped me clean the house. It was just really nice to spend today cuddling and talking. I wish he didn’t have to leave but i know i get to see him tomorrow. Plus i might go to his friends house this weekend from Saturday to Sunday if i feel up to it so that way we can be together without him having to leave at night. I’m not sure f i want to go just cause my bed is softer than there’s and i’m paranoid i will go into labor there lol or my water will break there and i will feel bad cause well my water broke all over their house lol I’m just worried that I will go into labor and then we will have to take the drive back to my town, it’s like a 30 minute drive but it’s whindy and back roads and i hate the drive at night.
Anyways I had an amazing day today! I hope my mom doesn’t try to start anything because i want to go to bed feeling like this!
(Source: kater-totss)
I spiled warm cream cheese filling all over me and then on the floor and Bean came over to investigate and tried to clean it up like she would cover up her mess in the catbox lol. She’s never done that with anything else i spilled, it was the cutest and weirdest thing ever. t was like she was trying to clean up my mess.
I fucking love my cat.
(Source: kater-totss)
I’m going to eat these Mint M&MS till i put myself into a food coma and sleep till Matthew comes over tomorrow. I hate my life, All i want is my daughter here.
(Source: kater-totss)
38 week appointment update!!!
Still not dilated :/ She told me to get a birthing ball and roll around on it but i can’t let myself get one knowing i won’t use it after i have her and i might not even need it for that long. I asked my facebook friends if anyone had one i could borrow so hopefully someone has one i can use to see if that will get things started.
Have i told you guys how much i love my doctor? I love how open i can be with her. So after she checked my cervix i asked her what else i can so to get things going and she said Birthing ball and Sex! I told her Matthew was excited for that part lol and she told me ” Isn’t it funny how they get about it? We tell them “You got us into this now help get us out”” She is such a doll, i am so excited i have her as my doctor.
ALSO Matthew is coming up tomorrow morning to stay with me till i have alexis!!!! That just means it’s real, i’m going to have her in a little over 2 weeks!! I can’t believe it. My doctor told me before i left that she will see me next week and all we have to do now is wait for me to go into labor :3
(Source: kater-totss)
Matthew lost his damn phone. Great… That’s just perfect, that makes me paranoid as hell. What if i go into labor and i have to try calling everyone in his family’s phone just to get a hold of him. How the fuck do you lose your phone. Plus he will need it before he comes up here. What a shit way to start the day.
I have an appointment at 2:15 today and i really hope i don’t have to wait an hour just to be seen. Here’s hoping to being at ea 1cm dilated.
(Source: kater-totss)
Matthews families auto shop made the newspaper! I am so proud of him and i know he is so excited about it making it in the newspaper!! It says “New Grants Pass oil change business a family affair (Business Buzz)”
(Source: kater-totss)
I hate asking for help. It makes me feel so damn small and worthless. I wish i could do more for my daughter on my own. I wish i was more ready before i got pregnant. I’m not saying i in anyway regret my daughter but i just wish i was more prepared cause i’m almost 38 weeks and i’m frantically trying to find handme downs before i resort to selling stuff so i can get what she needs. I even hate posting this because people will think i am asking for stuff and i’m not. I’m just trying to get all of this pent up guilt and sadness out before i drive myself crazy. Feel free to scroll past and such.
(Source: kater-totss)
